Asking for Help

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Do you ask for help when you need it?

Or do you feel like you have to be strong, and being strong means being silent and figuring it all out for yourself?

Sometimes asking for help is a critical component to success.

In many areas of life.

There are several areas in my life where I continuously ask for help. Help from my friends, from peers, from mentors, from the universe.

Recently, I was feeling pretty depressed. It was winter time, dark and cold.

I was coming to the end of a huge, multi-year personal goal. It was time to move on to the next phase and the next phase wasn't going so well as I might have hoped.

The darkness and lethargy of depression settled in around my head, my shoulders, my heart and barricaded me in its depths.

I could have wallowed in this darkness, like a hippo in a pool of warm mud. I could have stayed there, stuck in my own head, filled with images and stories of untruth.

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But I didn't.

I asked for help.

I reached out to friends and family and said: I am depressed. I need help. I need accountability. I need your friendship and love and support. I need contact. I need to hear that I am not a loser who just wasted thousands of dollars and hours and hours of time. I need help.

And the help came.

In droves, from near and far.

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As part of my struggle with depression, my healthy habits had taken a backseat.

I could have ignored it. Bought bigger pants. Continued to eat junk and sit on the couch.

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But I didn't.

I asked for help.

And I received it. From friends, my health care providers, my family, the universe. It came to me because I asked for it.

And today.

Today I need help again. And so I ask.

I reached out to friends and strangers, acquaintances and peers, and I asked them to help me.

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I am searching for a job.

In the work world, asking for help is called "networking." It is not only perfectly acceptable, but often a mandatory part of being successful.

Today I networked, I asked, I spoke my needs and desire with truth and feeling.

I asked the universe to support and guide me, to lead me in the direction I need to go. I looked for signs and acted upon what I saw.

I am not too strong to know when I need help or too proud to ask for it.

In the business world it is acceptable and a sign of strength. In our personal lives it is a sign of weakness.

I disagree. I believe that asking for help, seeking the support of our village, is a sign of great strength, because in order to ask for help we must show our vulnerability, our soft underbelly, to the world.

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I think that takes great strength.

Do not fear asking for help, asking for what you need. I promise, you will be amazed at what the universe will deliver unto you if you only ask.

Labeling Yourself

‎"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind." -- Henry James, American Writer

Part of the internet world I follow is all abuzz today, which has prompted me to address something that has been on my mind for a long time: labeling how we eat. 

A well-known vegan author released an open letter yesterday to inform her followers that she has decided to return to eating meat. She lists a variety of reasons for her decision. 

And then...

She was bombarded by vicious, hurtful and malicious attacks against her person and character, all from the comfy confines of people hidden behind their computer screens. 

This woman, who yes, made a name for herself in the vegan world (vegans do not eat animal products of any kind and often avoid products made with animal hides as well) made a decision and decided to be honest and share this with the world. She could have likely hidden it, but she didn't. 

Much of the vegan community continuously surprises me with the vehemence they use to tell the world that they are RIGHT and the rest of us (omnivores) are WRONG. And the vehemence with which they attack and shame and humiliate those who choose to consume animals or animal products. 

There is a difference between trying to educate others about the reasons behind ones choice to eat only plants and attacking them for not believing/eating the way you do. 

In my experience, for many vegans there is no middle ground. There is no grey area, there is no place for a slip up, an accident or even a once in a while choice. And there certainly isn't room for someone to simply change their mind. 

If someone chooses to label themselves as a vegan and then eats something outside of what vegans consider acceptable (which some can't even decide on...honey or no honey? what about the bees?) other vegans are the first to take a virtual swing at them. I find this behavior sad and curious.

Let me make a few things really clear:

1-I eat meat.

2-I don't hate people that don't eat meat.

3-I believe that eating a more plant based diet is better for people, many animals, and the environment. 

4-I believe in doing the best I can.

5-I do not believe in perfection.

6-I do not believe in labeling myself.

7-I do not believe in viciously attacking others for their choices.

8-I do not believe the way one chooses to eat is any ones business. 

9-I do not believe in hiding behind the internet to say things I would NEVER say to someone if they were sitting right next to me. 

10-I BELIEVE IN KINDNESS. 

Yes, this author promoted herself as a vegan and so one might argue that "she had it coming" but really...who are we to judge another? She is the one living her life, living in her body, living with her conscience. The vile attacks against her are, to me, in complete opposition to the ideas behind being vegan...to care for ALL the living beings on the planet. 

I wonder if those attacking her today have never changed their mind about something? I wonder if they have never had to sacrifice something for convenience? I wonder if they really believe all the things they are saying or if they are just caught up in their righteous indignation? I wonder if they are pretending that we live in a perfect world where choices are always easy and happy? I wonder if they are always really as perfect in their eating as they promote themselves to be? 

I'm sure those that followed her are feeling personally affronted; I'm sure it is similar to how many felt after Lance Armstrong admitted to doping for years and lying to us all. We felt let down, betrayed, sad, misled and disappointed. I get it. 

But ultimately, her choice is HER choice. How other people feel about it is THEIR choice. But  it doesn't give them the right to assault her via the protection of the internet. 

BE upset. BE sad. BE disappointed. But don't forget that we are all human beings and each and every one of us deserves kindness. If vegans believe in not eating animal products as an act of caring and kindness to themselves, the animals and the planet, why is it okay to emotionally assault this woman via the web? 

That is not an act of loving kindness. 

My advice to the people who care to take it: avoid labeling yourself. Avoid labeling your eating type. Just eat. Eat whatever it is that YOU are morally, socially, physically, and emotionally comfortable eating. Do your best. 

That is all any of us can really do. Our best. On any given day. 

And before you hit submit on that comment or post ask yourself...would I say this if this person was sitting right next to me, across my kitchen table? If my best friend said this to me how would I respond? Would I say this? If I was looking right into their eyes...would I say this unkindness?

If not...maybe use the backspace button and keep from adding unnecessary hatred and negativity to the world. 

Kindness. It is the only thing the world needs. 

One of Those Days

Yesterday was one of "those" days.

There was no real reason for it, but I just woke up and immediately felt...not my best. 

My neck is still causing my grief (I say my neck but according to the chiro and massage therapist it is more my right trapezoid, pecs and something in my shoulder blade) which makes doing darn near anything minimally uncomfortable to down right painful. 

I weighed myself (bad idea bad idea...I was already in a cranky mood) and felt really disgusted with myself. (My clothes are still fitting just fine, so it is possible that I am creating some muscle with some of the exercise) . But lets be real: the point is to lose some weight not gain weight, so any number on a scale that is bigger than the last number on the scale can play lots of mental mind games. 

Then I looked for a job. 

Mill worker, granite fabricator, maintenance technician, sales, CNA, retail, and RANCH Worker, Animal and Hay. This is just a snip of the unemployment department's job listing, but all the other job listing sites offer us a similar mix of truck driver, medical field, sales and industrial. This was extra disheartening to me yesterday, because, I was already in a negative mindset. 

I debated going to the gym. Monday is yoga day, and I thought I could probably do that without causing more injury to my neck/shoulder, but I didn't really want to and what if I did hurt it more? Every little movement hurts as it is! 

I thought long and hard about going, or not going. And I pulled from my memory banks sayings like the ones above. You will never regret a workout. You know you always feel better after a workout, always. Just two weeks ago your yoga class changed your whole day. JUST GO. 

So before I could change my mind or talk myself out of it, I threw my clothes on and got out the door. Because it's true: getting out the door is always the hardest part. 

Yoga was pretty good. It wasn't earth shattering, but I went, I was careful with the poses and didn't push myself too hard. I got a nice compliment from my instructor on warrior two pose. 

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There is always thing to work on in yoga, to focus on. Keeping the front shin/calf straight and leaning into that front hip, keeping the hips aligned are all part of what the focus of warrior two is (among other things). 

After yoga, I headed home for a quick shower and then to the chiro for another massage and adjustment. I had a new massage therapist. She had really great energy for me yesterday. She is also a yogi, so we were able to incorporate some of the common language of yoga to help discuss stretches I should do, breathing I should do to help with the massage, and she also has a similar mindset to my typical mindset. She was half counselor/half massage therapist. It was really helpful for me to hear someone else saying to me the things that I often say to myself and to others. 

See, the universe really does know what we need, even when we aren't necessarily in the right frame of mind. 

My chiropractor also gave me a little pep talk and told me to quit being so damn hard on myself. I love that about her. 

I often suffer from an all or nothing mentality, and this neck/shoulder pain thing is, well painful, but that pain can also cause stress (stress can make the pain worse, too), but also it is a mental thing because I am trying so hard to stay motivated to keep my activity up, to focus on being active to be healthy and to lose weight, that this pain issue makes me so frustrated! I feel like a big roadblock has been thrown up in my path and that just as I am mentally in a good place to be active and start doing it, then BOOM, physical issues that want to stop me. 

And then I think of something like this:

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Oh, Randy Pausch...you are so right on. 

Did the rest of my day turn around and become amazing? No. Not really. But I was no longer in a mental fight with myself. I DID go to yoga, I did take care of myself, I did eat healthy. 

Today, I am still in pain and I have a day of homework ahead of me.

But I am not in the same place I was yesterday, mentally. Some days we just have those days and it is so helpful to have friends and care providers that can give us a virtual slap and tell us to snap out of it. 

I'm not sure if this post made any sense, but I guess the bottom line is that we all have days like "those" despite our best efforts to be positive and to think positive, and that it is okay to have those days. It is also really great that the people I have in my life understand me and have a similar belief system and are able to tell me the things I already know, because sometimes it helps to have someone else say it. 

Thankfully, today is a new day and I am going to let go of yesterday. 

I Don't Believe In Perfect

There are some words that I think should be removed from the language.

They do more harm than good.

They create unrealistic expectations and attitudes toward life.

"Perfect" is one of the words.

Perfect causes so much angst and anxiety!

Many people claim to be perfectionists.

What this often means in reality is that they so fear not doing something "perfectly", without error, or not living up to their own or others impossible standards, that they fail to even begin.

I know a woman who has difficulty committing to write because she wants it to be perfect.

I know a woman who has difficulty committing to eat well because she wants to eat perfectly.

I know a woman who has difficulty committing to doing various projects because she wants them to be perfect.

I am here to tell these women, and you, and me, that there is NO such thing as perfect.

Perfect doesn't exist.

Perfect is something that human beings created in our minds. Some IDEA of what something "should" (another word I don't like) be.

To look perfect we all "should" be 5'9" and weigh 125 lbs, have blonde hair, blue eyes, creamy white skin, big boobs, tiny waist, round hips and butt, long, shapely legs and attractive feet.

To smell perfect we "should" all shower with scented bath soaps and rub our bodies with scented lotions and spritz our bodies with scented fragrance.

To be the perfect mother we "should" do...good Lord...everything for our child and the school and other parents and our husband and our house and our car and the neighborhood and the community...and ... and...

I do not believe in Perfect.

I believe that perfect is nothing more than another way in which women demean and destroy themselves.

I believe that prefect is a way that women hold themselves back and create barriers in their lives.

I do not believe in perfect.

I believe in balance. Giving your best effort. I believe in loving yourself. I believe in creating harmony within all areas of your life. I believe in saying no to protect your self, soul and sanity.

Perfect has no place in my life.

I don't believe in perfect.

Lessons in Forgiveness

"True forgiveness is when you can say: thank you for that experience."

~Oprah Winfrey



The above quote caught my attention this week.

There are areas of our lives, usually long ago in our pasts, but not always, that are wounds in our souls.

We experienced something at the hands of others that caused us hurt.

 That injured us, physically, mentally or emotionally.

And very often it is only with life experience, and the benefit of hindsight that we are able to look back on the hurt and find some measure of benefit.

My childhood had experiences of great harm.

It has taken me many years to work through the pain and emotional scars left behind.

Recently, though, I realized that the experience, horrible and painful at the time and for many years after, has given me some greater insight into certain areas of life.

I'm not saying I couldn't have gained that insight in a less painful or emotionally devastating way, but the experience itself provided me with a benefit that I can now see and verbalize.

I still have no wish to be in contact with the perpetrator of my experience, but I can look at the experience in a different light.

I can see with different eyes.

The forgiveness, the letting go of the anger and hate and resentment, is not for the perpetrator of these acts.

It is for ME.

It is to release the toxic energy from my soul that has lived there for far too long.

It is to brush away the dirt from my heart.

It is to push back the curtain that has been covering my inner light, darkened and obscured by old wounds and hurts.

Forgiveness is not for the other...it is for me, and you.

Do you have a hurt in your life, one that has festered and swelled, blocking out your light and spirit?

Are you able to look for the benefit of the experience?

Did it teach you something about yourself? Your resilience? Your strength? Your power?

Can you find some insight?

I encourage you, peel back the cover on that dark place in your heart, and see if you can look at the hurt with different eyes.

See if you can find a way to say "Thank you for that experience".

See if there is a way to say: that experience helped me to grow as a person.

See if there is room there to forgive.

Not for the other...but for yourself...so you can heal and move forward.

You deserve to forgive and heal and move forward.

You are valuable and worthwhile.

Clear the darkness from your soul.

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A Woman Should Know

This is one of those things that appears suddenly in life that is so fitting and so true! Yet it appears with no one to attribute it to. If you know who wrote this originally, please point me in that direction. I would love to give the author credit for this beautiful piece of truth! 

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A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. a youth she’s content to leave behind…. a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….. a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE . one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …. a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE … a feeling of control over her destiny.

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… how to fall in love without losing herself.

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… that she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… that her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over…

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… where to go… be it to her best friend’s kitchen table… or a charming inn in the woods… when her soul needs soothing…

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… what she can and can’t accomplish in a day… a month…and a year…

 

 

What else should a woman know?

Walking the Talk

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”

~Unknown

I mentioned last Thursday in a Facebook post that I was being "forced" (by my own choice) outside of my comfort zone. Way outside.

I didn't have time to get into details or post a full blog about it then, but basically I said I was taking my own advice and choosing to LIVE, fully, despite the fears.

Let me tell you what happend. My overworked husband and I had planned a long weekend trip to go camping and boating with some friends. Our destination: about 7 hours north of where we live, near where we used to live.

A 7 hour tow with our Suburban (over 200k miles on it) and our 21' jet boat, over the steep hills and curves of I5 in Southern Oregon, north through Eugene and then traffic heavy Portland, and then up into the foothills of Mt. Saint Helens to Lake Merwin, is a long tow.

Our plan was for hubby to work in town that day (he covers a HUGE area of Southern Oregon) and hopefully get on the road a bit early from home. That was the plan.

And then the pager went of. Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep!

My hubby is on call 24/7. When the Beep Beep goes off hubby has go to go. He had worked the 5 previous weekends straight. This was to be his one off call weekend over a span of 9 weeks. Yah, he is overworked.

Hubby had to go north, to Roseburg, Oregon...about 2 hours north of here.

That left me at home and hubby 2 hours away.

So where does the fear facing, walking the talk, LIVING life part come in??

With this:



About 40 ' of Suburban and Boat



I hauled our boat up I5 for over 100 miles, through the twisty hills, by myself.

Yes.

I have towed the boat around a bit here and there, at the boat docks when we pull out of the water, mostly. I have also hauled a car trailer around a bit, here and there.

But I have never hauled our boat trailer up the freeway for over 100 miles totally alone.

It was SCARY to contemplate BUT it was amazingly empowering to accomplish!

Luckily I had no problems.

I saved my poor hubby from having to drive 2 hours north, work all day, drive 2 hours back home just to get in the 'burb and drive those same 2 hours all over again, plus 5 more!

It was exhilirating. Empowering. Amazing.

Talk about a confidence booster!

THEN, while we were camping, not only did I pull the boat out of the water, but I also BACKED it up into our campsite!

Amazing.

I also drove the boat some this weekend on the lake, which is normal, but I keep practicing pulling up to the dock, and this time, up along side of our friends boat so we could raft up.

Other things that I realized this weekend about how DOING conquers fears:

I used to be massively nervous about driving I5 in S. Oregon due to the series of very steep hills and tight corners. I now have done it so often that even though I was hauling the boat, I had no fears about the road itself.

Also, I used to get very nervous if I had to drive my husbands truck because it has a canopy on the back that you cannot see out of at all. Again, I have done it enough now that it didn't even create a second thought in my mind.

It is incredible to me how many of our fears can be overcome just by the doing, the living, the being, the actively participating in our lives.

There are fears I have never overcome, even though I have been exposed to them time and time and time again, so I don't believe that exposure to a fear ALWAYS breeds comfort, but it is empowering to know that it is *possible*.

It is possible that what you fear today will become completely insignificant tomorrow, if you focus on living your life and facing your fears.

My weekend was an amazing, and ongoing, lesson on how living my life really does impact my outlook on life.

There were many lessons; many examples of times when I could have chosen to live or to wilt like a wall-flower.

I choose to live.

Today.



Planting the Seeds

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant."

~Robert Louis Stevenson

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I need a lot of reminding.

One of the things I have been working on in my life, for many years, and it will likely be a lifelong process, is changing the message on the tapes that play in my brain.

Do you know what I mean? The tapes in your brain that tell you what you think of yourself, how you feel about yourself, what you believe about yourself, if you are smart or pretty or fat or ugly or dumb. These are the messages we tell ourselves every day. I call them tapes. Some people call changing the tapes affirmations.

I just refer to it as changing the message on the tapes.

My old messages were not nice. I believed many negative things about myself. I, in fact, convinced myself daily, with my messages, that I was weak, lazy, dumb, incapable and more. I said many, many not nice things.

Oh, you would never have known all the negativity going on in my head if you knew me in 3D. On the exterior I am happy, smiling (even having been called "the smiley one"), laughing and appear to be confident and secure in myself...from the outside.

On the inside, in my brain, where I tell myself what I believe about myself, I was not nice. These messages defeated me in living my life before I ever took one step toward living it. I would awaken with negative thoughts about my body, I would go through the day with negative thoughts about my abilities, I would go to bed with negative thoughts about all of the things I wasn't and could never be.

It is an exhausting way to live.

Somewhere along the way my brain was penetrated by the idea that these were MY tapes and *I* held the power to change the recording. The messages I told myself were within MY power to change.

This blog and the ideas and words in it are a physical manifestation of me changing my messages. Over time I have changed many of my thoughts. I try to reframe old thoughts into new ways. Instead of being a drill sargeant and yelling at myself to get something done or to stop doing an unhealthy behavior, I try to look inward and see why I am doing it. I try to record a new message. I plant the seeds of positive messages. I tell myself I can. I tell myself I will. I tell myself that I am amazing and wonderful and unique...because I am all of those things. And so are you.

The messages that play in my brain now are more frequently those of positivity, of support and encouragement. I tell myself I can do things. I tell myself to listen to my own needs. I tell myself to wait. I tell myself to rest. I tell myself to work. I tell myself I have great talents. I plant the seeds of positivity and strength and power and light in my brain daily. I read positive things. I talk to positive people. I seek support and guidance.

Sometimes, though, I need reminding.

Last weekend I went through a very difficult emotional process. In the aftermath, in my hindsight, I see that part of what happened was that in an emotionally charged situation all of my old tapes come flooding back to me. It was as if they had never left. I was telling myself an amazingly horrible amount of stuff that was NOT TRUE. It may have been true at one time, in another part of my life, but it was NOT true in my current life. I succumbed to those old tapes in the blink of an eye.

One day I was posting here about the universe is whispering in my ear and I listen and LIVE and a scant 48 hours later I am in a fog of negativity, doubt and downright lies.

Why am I telling you this and what does it have to do with seed plantings and harvests?

I am telling you this because it is important to continue to plant the seeds of positivity even after earlier sprouts have started to grow. It is important to continue to plant the seeds of power even in the midst of the growing season. It is important to continue to plant the seeds of light in the middle of a storm.

The seeds...seeds of positivity, power, and light...they are what will get you through that storm! They are what will pull you up from the depths. You never know which seed you plant will be the one to poke up through the dirt of your mind, just when you need it.

We can't worry about harvesting of the seeds. We can't worry about the day we are done planting. We can't be consumed with how great the harvest will be. We have to believe. We must have faith. We must KNOW that if we keep planting the seeds, daily, we will someday be able to harvest them. The harvest may be one individual plant at a time, and not an entire field. But someday, that little seed, the new message on your tape, the positive things you tell yourself, it will bloom and grow and play back on repeat for you and you will believe it.

But you might need to be reminded that you believe it. So you have to keep planting new seeds, and recording new messages, especially while you are standing in the midst of a field full of harvest.

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Goddess of the Sky

“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.”

~Sir Edmund Hillary

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Mt. Everest, located along the border between Nepal and Tibet, is the world’s tallest mountain. The peak rises 29,035 feet above sea level. In comparison, Mt. Rainier in Washington State rises 14,411 feet above sea level, and Mt. Hood in Oregon State rises 11,240 feet above sea level, meaning that the peak of Mt. Everest is more than twice as tall as these local mountains.

When I think of climbing an incredible mountain, THE mountain of mountains, I think of Mt. Everest.

Mt. Everest was named after Sir George Everest in 1865, the British Surveyor General of India. This is the English name.

Did you know that the Nepalese and Tibetans have different names for Everest?

In Nepal she is known as "Sagarmatha", which translates to "Goddess of the Sky."

In Tibet she is known as "Chomolungma", which translates to "Mother Goddess of the Universe."

How appropriate is it that THE mountain of mountains, the one that calls to climbers and adventurers the world over, the one that inspires them to conquer their own fears, to conquer physical and mental limitations, the one that calls out to them to reach the summit, is known by those that have lived in her shadow for hundreds of years as a goddess?

I would say very appropriate.

Sir Edmund Hillary, quoted above, is the first recorded man to summit Sagarmatha, in May 1953, along with his Sherpa Tenzig Norgay. Hillary is quoted as saying "It is not the mountain that we conquer but ourselves." A wise man.

I believe that whenever we set out to ascend a mountain it is ourselves that we must overcome to reach the summit. Of course, the word "mountain" here is used as a synonym for "challenge" or perhaps "goal" or "dream".

Each of us, within us, has a goal or mountain or a challenge that we want to achieve. We may not have admitted it fully to ourselves yet. We may not have allowed ourselves to dream that big dream yet. We are afraid. We fear what will happen if we allow ourselves to dream the big dream. Will we have to work hard? Will we succeed? Will we fail? If we do succeed, will we be *too* successful? What will happen if we do reach the summit of our big dream mountain and all of our life's dreams are fulfilled?

Scary stuff to think about. Big, scary, amazing, powerful, inspiring dreams...

Whatever our dream or mountain, we must first overcome ourselves, conquer our own fears, our own mental limitations, in order to begin the climb. Usually the climb to the summit is not a direct route. There are often zigs and zags over the mountain; some parts are very treacherous and some parts take our breath away with their beauty.

But most importantly, we must get out of our own way! We must keep our focus. We must stop fretting about what happens when we get there, we must simply start the process of making it happen. Preparing for a climb on Sagarmatha takes years of preparation and training. The climb process itself takes months. The climbers must first climb to the lower base camp, where they must stay for some time to get acclimated to the thinner air and less oxygen. They then climb again to a higher base camp, where they again have to get acclimated. The process takes weeks to months. No one looks at these climbers as if they are failures for having to stop and catch their breath; or having to stop and get acclimated to their new surroundings.

WHY do we feel when climbing our own mountain that the path must be linear? WHY do we feel that stopping to catch our breath or get acclimated to our new surroundings is unacceptable?

All of the starts and stops, pauses, zigs and zags, treacherous ice fields and breathtaking views are a part of the process of summiting our mountain. There is no failure in pausing. There is no failure in slipping. There is no failure in taking the South Col route instead of the South East Ridge route. Failure only occurs when we refuse to continue, when we allow our own fears of success and our own limiting beliefs to prevent us from continuing the ascent.

We must conquer our own demons and fears in order to reach the summit. We must not allow a day or two of altitude sickness to send us packing back down the mountain to the lower base camp. When we have altitude sickness, we must rest, pause, take some oxygen, look around at the view of how far we have come, how high we have already made it and be awed by our own amazingness. We must look both up at the challenges to come and down at the challenges already overcome and use those to propel us forward.

With each step higher on the mountain we prove to ourselves that it IS possible; it CAN be done. With each step we conquer a little more of the naysayers in our heads. With each step we achieve more power and strength. With each step up the slippery slope, when we swing our ice pick into that slippery surface and say I AM NOT SLIPPING DOWN, we conquer a little more of our own disbelief. With each step we conquer a bit more of ourselves.

Each day as I look at my mountain, my big dream, my challenge, I must conquer fears, limiting beliefs, and the lies I tell myself about how I can't do it. Each day as I look at my mountain I must remind myself of my strength that I have gained by climbing as far as I have. Each day as I look at my mountain I must simply take the next step higher. I must simply continue the ascent, for I will never achieve my goal by looking back down. I will never reach the summit if I do not press on.

I, for one, plan to join Sir Edmund Hillary at the summit of the mountain... my very own Everest.

"It is not the mountain that we conquer but ourselves." ~ Sir Edmund Hillary

Information Source

"It's All About The Climb" ~ Miley Cyrus

I am not a huge Miley Cyrus fan. I've never seen Hannah Montana, nor am I familiar with most of her music. This song, however, definitely has a message.

So often in life we are so focused on The END, The GOAL, The ACHEIVEMENT, that we forget about the process.

The process IS our life!

We can't forget that the climb to achieve the goal is what makes the success of achieving it so sweet.

Enjoy the moment.

 Bask in the difficulty.

 Breathe in the struggle.

Feel the sweat.

 Embrace the challenge.

And remember, "It's all about the climb!"

The Climb lyrics
Songwriters: Alexander, J; Mabe, J;

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, baby

It's all about, it's all about the climb

Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago. I was reminded this weekend, after a difficult time with my anxiety, of the truth of the words I wrote, and the truth of Miley's song. I was also reminded that sometimes the climb takes a fork to the left or right of the original path, and that this change of direction still can lead us to our final destination.

I went for a hike with friends. The path we were on suddenly became quite narrow with a very steep drop off on the right. I forced myself to continue for awhile, despite my paralyzing fear. At a certain point however, I could no longer continue on that path. My fear, my anxiety, was too great. We turned around.

Was this a failure?

We found another path, with a steeper climb up, but no cliffside, to walk along. Eventually we reached the destination we had been aiming for on the prior path: a small beautiful reservoir.

Life is a journey; a climb. Sometimes, though, the path will lead us to a new direction. This detour does not mean we cannot reach our goal. Nor does it mean that the goal will be less beautiful for having taken a different path to reach it.

Just like with the rules, if your path is not serving you well to reach your goal, then *you* have the power to change your path. There is no failure or shame in changing the path. There is more than one path to take, and very often, there is no one right path...just the best path for you at that time.

So, take the high path, take the fork in the road, change direction if the path isn't working for you.....and, most importantly: don't forget to breathe!