Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Saying Goodbye...

Yesterday was a pretty crappy day at Casa Beebe.

Some of you know that my kitty has been having some problems over the last few weeks. We took her to the emergency vet on Sunday because she could hardly stand, and couldn't hold her head up, was hardly eating or drinking, and was just pathetically miserable.

They did blood work and told us she was in renal failure (kidney failure), among other things. They wanted about $1000 to keep her hospitalized and give her IV fluids and medicine to see if we could get her stabilized and feeling better. That was not in my budget.

I took her home and we went to our regular vet yesterday. After a lengthy consultation with my very compassionate vet, with a thorough breakdown of all of Ashley's current problems, including renal failure, low potassium, anemia, acidemia, diabetes, hormonal imbalance, hyperthyroidism and a heart-murmur (they suspect she was throwing blood clots due to the heart-murmur which was contributing to the inability to move properly), and a discussion on the likelihood of improvement after 3 days of hospitalization, and the ongoing intensive care she would require post-hospitalization, we came to realize that at 17 years old, Ashley had lived a good, long life.

It was an extremely hard and emotional decision, but we decided it was time to say goodbye to my sweet kitty. She was with us from the time she was a little tiny kitten, and has been a part of our life everyday for 17 years. I miss her tremendously, and my house is empty.

I had to keep reminding myself yesterday that I didn't have to get up to go check on her, find her or pester her.

I am beyond sad. I have a reputation for not being a cry-er, and being unemotional...well, I will tell you all that I was a big snotty mess yesterday at the vet's and afterward...it sucked.

I came home and numbed out on the couch.

Chris has been awesome. For a guy who told me for years he hated my cats, he was very sad, too. He told me the other day to stop posting pictures of him and the cat on facebook. :-)  I am going to post these two because they make me smile.



This is the last picture of my sweet kitty. I took it outside the vets office, after our consultation and before we said our final goodbye. At first I thought it didn't turn out, but then I decided it was very appropriate...she looks like an angel.


I miss my sweet Ashley Marie...and am so sad about having to say goodbye.

Rest in peace my sweet kitty. 


8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry corrie, please let me know if I can do anything at all. Todd lost tigger just recently as well. I wish they could live longer lives with us. Hugs!!!
Tina

Corrie Beebe said...

Thank you, Tina. I saw that about Tigger, too. One friend reminded me yesterday that kitties just don't live as long as people, no matter how much we wish they did. Thanks for thinking of me.

Mary @ Bites and Bliss said...

That's so sad. I get really, really attached to my animals..so I feel your pain. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss!

Juli Madill said...

I am so sorry Corrie....I am in tears reading your blog and I have been there before and it is sad to say good-bye! My bulldog, Fugly, has been gone for 10 years and I still find my self thinking of him and sometimes with a tear in my eye. You know what helps with the emptiness? Another kitty? Santa?

Corrie Beebe said...

Thank you Mary. She was my furry friend for about half my life...hard not to get attached to the little bugger after all that! Thanks for your kind words, and for stopping by.

Corrie Beebe said...

Didn't mean to make you cry, Juli! I have always had kitties just show up in my life somehow, so I'll probably wait for the next little kitty to find me that needs a home. Thanks for thinking of me.

Emily Segal said...

argh
There isn't one among us who has loved and cared for an animal who does not feel your pain at reading this. I believe that light orb in the last picture means she was already halfway to her next place.
Lots of love,
emily

Corrie Beebe said...

Yes, Em, that is what I felt, too...I look at that picture and feel like it is a sign. Maybe that is just to make myself feel better, but even if it is, it still gives me a little peace. Thank you for the love...